SOUTHEAST TEXAS RECORD

He's too old, too old

He's too old to cut the mustard anymore

He's a-gettin' too old, too old

to cut the mustard anymore

When it comes to duets, Frank Sinatra's pairing with Bono on “I've Got You Under My Skin” is definitely a standout, as is Roy Rogers' collaboration with Willie Nelson on “Rodeo Road.” But the combination of Marlene Dietrich and Rosemary Clooney in their rollicking version of “Too Old to Cut the Mustard” is sheer genius.

It's a comic gem, with Marlene and Rosemary recounting, in alternating verses, their unfortunate experiences with men past their prime. Marlene tells how she ran her fingers through a millionaire's hair: “The whole thing turned out pretty grim/'Cause none of his hair belonged to him.”

One of Rosemary's fellows “swore he was an army man/But he got dressed up, fit to kill/In the uniform he wore at the Bunker Hill.”

Clearly, both gents were too old to cut the mustard.

Was that David Moorman's problem, too?

Moorman is no Methuselah. He was only 54 when terminated by a local Wal-Mart four years ago.

Last March, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) filed suit on his behalf in the U.S. District Court for Northern Texas, Dallas Division, alleging that Wal-Mart had created a hostile work environment for Moorman before firing him.

According to the suit, “Moorman was discriminated against, having been harassed by his direct supervisor [who] repeatedly referred to Moorman as ‘old man.’”

Ouch, right? Talk about hostile!

Could it be that Moorman's hypersensitive? Or maybe that he was 54 going on 90?

In any case, he's now a more prosperous, thin-skinned ex-employe, Wal-Mart having agreed to a $150,000 settlement to make Moorman and the federal meddlers go away.

Some day, Wal-Mart and other companies might get tired of being targeted by disgruntled workers and stop hiring anyone over a certain age. If they do, we can thank the EEOC and the likes of Mr. Moorman.